February 12, 2012

I recently did an interview for Collapse Board that made me think a lot about the difference between public and private, and what the line between the two means to me. Back in olden tymes, when I was a stripper, it was important that the character I was at work, and the customers I had, STAYED in the club, and that when I walked out, at 3am, my “real” life began.

In my life as a singer it’s always been kind of the opposite, I’ve WANTED  to be accessible to the people who come see me perform or listen to my music. Most people use this accessibility as an opportunity to connect in a meaningful way, though some use it as an invitation to be vicious, or demand that I meet their outrageous expectations. In the end though, the love and generosity this permeability has allowed me to experience has proved totally worth it. But for sure I am always searching for that perfect balance between being accessible as a performer and having “me time”.

For awhile I was doing interviews one after the other for days and even weeks at a stretch and found myself saying the same boring shit over and over. One of the reasons I was especially guarded was because I was living with someone who is kind of famous, and was super nervous if anyone ever asked me about our relationship. It just felt wrong to talk about it and like a line I didn’t want to cross.

And then something happened. I realized other performers were sharing intimate details about their lives on twitter and using their blogs to talk about things that were important to them. I also realized that there were times when I wanted to shout from the highest mountain how proud I am of my (now) husband, and it started feeling weird acting like we were strangers when I was asked about him.

So I got my shit together and started a website and a blog and have been uneasily trying to figure out my  relationship to this kind of thing ever since. And while I haven’t reached any overarching conclusions, I have decided that since I would rather read an interview with someone who is being honest, I should probably try to be more honest in interviews myself. Even when it makes me look like a fucking dork or gets me into trouble.

Thanks to Bianca for making my most recent one so enjoyable that I  just wanted to blab on and on, and of course, felt perfectly fine mentioning my wonderful partner in crime.